tired

let me just say upfront

that i GET capitalism
i have a robust appreciation for the
power and economic efficiency of
free markets of
the invisible hand

but something happened on the way to
my four bedroom marble tiled weekly cleaning service suburban
utopia
not that i’ve gone Marxist or anything
(Dad himself would drive a sharpened American flagpole
straight thru my heart)
i have to ask
why am i so tired

i mean i can’t even complain about
working with my hands
shagging bags of
rice
cement
shit

no
i'm in the advance force
the leading echelons
the post boom computer friendly out of the box thinking
knowledge workers
(cringing at the use of such a
shopworn oxymoron)

let me say something else

i'm not feeling the knowledge
i don’t know
what to do
where to go
how to go
who to do

and i really don’t understand why
it’s come to this
i used to have ideas
spewing out of me like
halon gas from a fire extinguisher
now the only idea (more of a compulsion really)
is survival
getting back to the bunker
with my job
my dignity
my mind
intact

that’s all i have to say really

i know
i understand
i'm just
tired